Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me


There's pretty much many stuff on my mind lately. My brain is just, so full. My heart aches. I haven't been a nice girl recently. I almost didn't know what i wanted.

It's our 2nd year ann today. But we didn't managed to celebrate the day like we had probably imagined to months back.

If i could add everything all together, the times i've hurt you in one way or another might have far surpassed times if it was the other way around. You've tolerated much of my stubborness, wilfulness and other fucking nonsense. But you were always there for me. You've been a great boyfriend. You are also like my best friend as well whom i could confide in about anything. Sure there were times i felt some doubts, but there were also times when i felt i love you so overwhelmingly.

I was in such a daze today. I missed some buses i wanted to board. And i almost missed the destination stop to alight at. I always thought i could control my feelings and emotions and could sort out my thoughts well. But sometimes i realise i'm just doing the opposite of what i know i shouldn't.

I very much felt like releasing a few tears. But somehow i realise i couldn't. Because the stuff that happened was single-handedly caused by me and there was no one else to blame. I could only be angry at myself. And crying for myself is just.. pathetic. Self-pity? I was feeling drained to cry.

I couldn't get to sleep well for the past week or so. It's only in the dead of the night you'll take note of the silence surrounding you. Somehow, the best time for thoughts to flood your mind, keeping you awake. I was starting to feel that silence really screams the truth.

I know today we've talked and settled stuff. But i know maybe you'll somehow feel you can't trust me like before anymore.

I'm sorry.

We'll be celebrating our 2nd year tomorrow instead. Although the actual day's passed by then, i know that wouldn't be the same for our feelings. =)

Time has flown so fast we've been together for 2 years. I can still remember the beginning of everything then. Up till now, i still like to question you and beg you to tell me 'stories' of those times when we were starting to get closer. And any other kept thoughts and feelings during some random situations.

You are a great boyfriend. I wouldn't know what else to do without you now. Thank you for being there for me always.

Happy 2nd year anniversary! I love you.

:')