Just last week, i was feeling so worry-free. Like in a long, long time. Exams were over and it's the holidays. Results were out and they didn't disappoint. Everything was cool. Until that news of the internship came.

I dont know why i'm making things so difficult for myself. Getting myself stuck in this dilemma of wanting to take up this internship or not. First of all, the teacher recommended me and my groupmates to Microsoft for this internship. I didn't choose it myself. We sent our resumes in and we are to go down for an interview at Microsoft this thursday.

It's not as if i'm gonna get in afterall. I haven't even have the interview yet. I'm getting all dark about how things might turn out.

I keep thinking about failure. The thing is, i'm scared of not being able to do well and manage. My programming skills are pretty much lousy. I know myself, and i'm not entirely confident of my practical skills and what i can do. Most importantly, i'm not even that passionate about all these IT stuff. Yes i'm kinda in the wrong course from the start. I may not even wanna work in any field relating to IT after i graduate.

Frankly, i'm blardy intimidated by the challenging projects and stuff my teacher mentioned that we might be doing.

And know what, i dont know why but we wont be paid a salary for this internship.

The only reason i'm considering for this internship is because it just seems like such a hard to come by opportunity, with Microsoft being such a dyanamic company. It will be such an experience. Plus my CV will definitely look great in the future.

IF either one of us didnt get into this internship after the interview, we will be back in school for our SIP just like everyone else. But this time, we will be re-grouped with people whom we dont know. Be it from another class or diploma. =(

Best case scenario. All 3 of us, including my groupmates, gets into Microsoft. Although it might most probably be individual work by then.

'Best' case scenario. All 3 of us get rejected by Microsoft. And we continue our SIP in school as a group.

I've been listening to opinions of people. But i'm still stuck. What should i do?

I've decided not to go for the second day of Microsoft bootcamp tomorrow. Not sure if the absence will affect anything. I'll go back on Wed, the last day. I want a break from all the Microsoft stuff.

This fucking sucks. =(

I need a hug. I need to pray.